Last week my cousin introduced me to the word “limerence,” and it’s been rumbling around in my brain ever since. It refers to infatuation or juvenile obsession. Limerence is the kind of attraction that flares hot and strong in the beginning and then quickly burns out because it cannot be sustained because there is no root–no wood–at the base of that fire.

I think a lot of people treat their bodies this way. It’s attractive to go after the hot new diet or exercise trend. It’s sexy to think about pills for weight loss or lipo that will reshape your body overnight. We are drawn to quick fixes. We want the heroin-like shot in the arm that the latest supplement that everyone is talking about might provide. If everyone else is obsessed with it, there must be a reason. Right?

Love is different than limerence. Love is a choice.

It is the everyday looking at yourself in the mirror, and instead of focusing on your faults, you chose to send love to your body. You look at yourself and see that you are standing up on strong legs that support you with two arms to dry you off, eyes that can see, and skin that can feel. You’re amazing.

Love is making decisions to nourish yourself each time you put a morsel of food in your mouth. It is appreciating the sustenance that food provides and the magical way your body turns carrots into muscles and bones. It is considering whether that food or drink is making you healthier or sicker and changing your choices to match your goals.

Love is the arduous drinking of glass after glass of water, knowing that it will require you to make a trip to the bathroom later on. It is the appreciation for your kidneys rather than disparaging them for disrupting your day when they do their job of removing the toxins from your body and balancing the salt and water concentration in your bloodstream.

Love makes sure you move your body vigorously for 30 minutes each day and give yourself movement breaks away from your desk.

Love is hard. It is the plodding dedication of caring for yourself deeply and meaningfully every, every, every, every day. While love is not always light and lyrical, the rewards are incomparable.

I am also guilty of following trends and trying them out on myself. I go down the Dr. Google manhole at least once a week. I love limerence. But my body lets me know when I am not loving it and, conversely, when I am. When I love myself, my body loves me back with restful sleep, powerful movements, no pain, and a focused calm mind.

So I keep doing the hard things and keep plugging away on loving myself. Because that’s what love is. Commitment.